How do I fix my attachment issues?
How do you fix your anxious or avoidant attachment?
If you are asking yourself, “How do I fix my attachment issues?” the short answer is: you go deeper.
Traditional talk therapy can be helpful, but when you have experienced attachment trauma or other forms of relationship harm, you may need a trauma-informed approach that helps you understand not just what is happening in your relationships now, but where these patterns may have started or formed.
What therapy is the best for attachment issues?
Trauma-informed therapy is about understanding you as a whole person. It looks at your upbringing and past experiences and considers how they may have shaped the way you see yourself, interact with the world, and navigate relationships.
By exploring your childhood experiences, relationships with caregivers and other significant attachment figures, as well as important life experiences, you can begin to better understand the roots of your attachment issues.
Experiences such as bullying, gender-based violence, emotionally harmful or abusive romantic relationships, rejection, abandonment, or other forms of relationship trauma can influence your self-worth and the core beliefs you develop about yourself and others.
Understanding these experiences can help you recognize unhelpful or self-limiting thinking patterns and beliefs and relationship behaviors—and begin making sense of why certain fears, triggers, or patterns continue to show up in your relationships.
EMDR therapy and Parts Work Therapy are two trauma-informed approaches that can support this process. Learn more about therapy for attachment here.
The Goal of Attachment Therapy is Twofold.
First, you need understand the origin. The first step is understanding where your attachment issues come from. This means exploring the experiences, relationships, and messages that shaped your beliefs about yourself, other people, and what to expect in relationships.
Second, you challenge/unlearn unhelpful patterns. Once you understand the origin of your attachment issues, the next step is learning how to change patterns that are no longer serving you. This can include noticing your triggers, challenging old beliefs, pausing versus immediately responding, and setting healthier boundaries—with yourself and others.
You are still human and relationships are hard
Healing attachment issues doesn’t mean you will never feel anxious, guarded, or triggered in relationships again. It means you can begin to recognize what is happening, understand where it comes from, and respond with more intention and self-awareness instead of automatically falling into patterns that are keeping you stuck
Attachment Therapy in San Diego
If you’re ready to go deeper and fix your attachment issues, you can start here. Cove Counseling Group offers attachment therapy in San Diego and across California. Get started by scheduling a free 15 minute consultation today!
