How Trauma Impacts Us—and How We Heal

by Diana Rabban, LCSW

The First Step Toward Healing from Trauma

We hear the word trauma often, but there's still a great deal of misunderstanding around what trauma truly is—how it’s experienced, how it’s stored in the body, and how it shows up in our lives.

As a trauma therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how many people carry trauma without even realizing it. Many individuals who struggle with emotional, physical, or relational challenges don’t immediately identify their experiences as traumatic. I’ve worked with many clients who assumed their reactions meant something was inherently wrong with them—when in reality, they were trauma responses rooted in past experiences. Once they understood this, it shifted their internal narrative from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?”—a powerful step toward healing.

Trauma Looks Different for Everyone

A common misconception is that trauma only results from extreme or violent events—such as military combat, assault, or natural disasters. While those are certainly valid, trauma can also stem from less obvious yet deeply impactful experiences, such as:

• Emotional neglect during childhood

• Medical trauma or chronic illness

• Divorce or betrayal in relationships

• Bullying or systemic oppression

• Growing up with a caregiver struggling with addiction or mental illness

Trauma isn’t just about what happened to us—it’s also about what didn’t happen. A lack of emotional attunement, nurturing, or space to express feelings—especially in childhood—can have long-lasting effects well into adulthood.

Trauma isn’t the experience itself; its about how the experience was processed. Trauma is often described as any experience where a person feels emotionally or physically unsafe, and that sense of feeling unsafe has lasting effects. What’s manageable for one person can be deeply wounding for another. This is why trauma is highly individualized, and why it’s essential not to compare or minimize someone else’s pain.

Many People Don’t Realize They’ve Experienced Trauma

Because trauma is so individualized, many people live for years without understanding the true source of their struggles. Trauma can manifest in subtle yet pervasive ways, including:

• Chronic anxiety or depression

• Struggles with self-worth

• People-pleasing tendencies

• Difficulties with trust or intimacy

• Hypervigilance or emotional numbness

• Unexplained physical symptoms or fatigue

• Trouble setting boundaries or regulating emotions

Trauma influences how we view ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we interpret the world around us. It can shape our nervous systems in ways that affect behavior, relationships, and even physical health.

And trauma doesn’t just live in the mind. It lives in the body—on a cellular level—affecting physiology, health, and behavior. Without support and healing, the body continues to carry the imprint of those distressing experiences.

The Path to Healing

Although trauma can leave deep emotional and physical imprints, it does not have to define who you are or how you live. Healing is possible.

Healing isn’t about forgetting the past—it’s about integrating it in a way that brings safety, self-compassion, and connection. It means:

• Understanding your nervous system

• Developing emotional regulation skills

• Learning to feel safe in your body

• Rewriting internal narratives rooted in survival, such as “I’m not safe,” “I’m not enough,” or “I can’t trust anyone”

Support from a trauma-informed therapist can be truly transformative. At our practice, we offer a variety of trauma-focused modalities, including EMDR and IFS (Internal Family Systems), that help clients process trauma. Regardless of the specific approach, healing often involves:

• Reconnecting with your body and emotions

• Regulating your nervous system

• Building self-worth and trust

• Creating healthier boundaries and relationships

• Reclaiming your sense of identity and agency

Healing is not linear. It’s layered, often challenging, but deeply rewarding. You’re not broken—you’re responding in a very human way to things that once felt overwhelming or unsafe. With the right support, you can feel safe, connected, and empowered again.

If you or someone you love is looking for a trauma therapist in California, know that support is available—and that healing is possible. Contact us to schedule a free consultation